The hitting thing... it's becoming a real problem. All morning I've been reading Brazelton and googling "18 months + toddler + hitting + help".
Last week when I dropped Henry off at school he hit a little boy square in the face, right in front of me and his teachers. I knew I had to say something, but I felt intimidated to discipline with the Early Childhood Educators watching and I awkwardly blurted out "Henry, no! Hands are for hugging (what??) and touching people gently and clapping and not for hitting and OHMYGOD WHAT AM I EVEN SAYING?". It was so embarrassing. The room was silent and I could almost hear the teachers thinking "This poor woman has no idea what she is doing". I wanted to get out of there as fast as I could. It happened that I was on my way to the airport and without thinking how it might sound said, "Good-bye Henry, see you in 4 days!" and bolted out the door.
This morning that same little boy came running up to greet Henry (toddlers are so forgiving) and once again Henry smacked him in the face. Rather than saying something ridiculous I sheepishly looked at his teacher and asked for her advice. She told me to do just what i'd done the last time (ugh, she remembered) and that she sometimes will take the child's hand and show them gentle touch immediately after they hit. Teacher also told me it was a phase that many kids go through. I can't be told this enough.