Blah Blah Babycakes

Silver Lining

The bright spot of having your basement fill up with your and your neighbor's waste water is that you're forced to do a little home remodeling.  Once you're writing fat checks for new carpet and tile it's easy to say "fark it" and start painting all your trim white and buying new chairs.

Here's my latest obsession:  Remodelista

It's the hottest design porn that I've seen in a while. 

Piles of white towels.  mmmm, yes.

Crap

I finally have an excuse for not blogging.

Henry came home with a note from school and all of his belongings in a dark, plastic bag, something about lice.

And I have a basement full of raw sewage. Again.

I'm not sure which one is worse, but maybe after I sit down with a bottle of vodka I'll figure it out.

Good Vibrations

Feng Shui, put simply, is the art of placing objects and furniture in your home, in a way the promotes the flow of good energy.  This, in turn, is supposed to bring harmony, balance, prosperity and abundance into your life.  Prosperity would be great, but I just want a decent night's sleep and if putting my bed perpendicular to the door is going to help, then I'm going to move some furniture...

After consulting several books and websites, I discovered that my entire house, by design, is a Feng Shui nightmare.  Apparently Sears Ro. & Company didn't give a damn about upstairs energy co-mingling with downstairs energy, because there is no place to hang a mirror at the bottom of my stairs and if abundance comes through my front door, it can way too easily escape out the back.

What I read sounded like a bunch of home decorating tips for the extremely superstitious, but I figured incorporating a few principles couldn't hurt, so I moved all of the furniture out of my bedroom and put back only things that were essential. Fancy hotel bed alone was not cutting it.  Now my feet no longer point towards the door as I sleep and all the clutter and noise is gone. Immediately my room felt more balanced and harmonious.

You could say that I'm sensitive to my environment. Most people are, I think. I've been known to pack a travel candle and my own bathmat on certain occasions, but mostly I'm easy going.  When it comes to your own home though, one has got to be comfortable and I have not been.  Now the good energy is flowing strong and I can't wait for bedtime.

Blah Blah Sewagecakes

As the cleaning crew descended the stairs equipped with masks, boots and gloves, to clean up the sewage that swamped my basement, I tried to put the image out of my head of Henry splashing around barefoot in the mystery puddles last week, as Nick vacuumed up the water and I tested different theories of what could possibly be leaking. 

I was sure that it was the dishwasher.  I conducted several very scientific experiments.  It HAD to be the dishwasher.

It didn't occur to me for even a second that it was sewer water.  The realization was horrifying, but not so much as finding out about the sewer rats that are now escaping from the holes in our collapsed main and up into our yard. 

When the man from Minneapolis Public Works came to poison the rat holes that litter my lawn, he asked me if I'd seen any rats in the house yet. (Yet??)  I started laughing hysterically and told him that he shouldn't make jokes like that. Especially to a woman whose husband is currently out of the country. Rat-Poison Man made a face that suggested he wasn't kidding and then warned me to look in the toilet before I sit down.

Last night I stacked heavy books on all the toilets and slept with a ski pole. 

Sometime next week, this terrible, disgusting mess will be behind us.  Until then, picture me heavily medicated and armed with sporting equipment.

I Do Attract To Me That Which Occurs

It's never a good idea to wish things out loud unless you are prepared for them to actually happen.  Sometimes I forget that the universe is listening and how maybe the words and thoughts I project could potentially manifest in some form if I'm not careful.

After I shouted to several people a few weeks ago about how I wanted to live in a hotel and how wonderful it would be to be Eloise at the Plaza I should have started packing my bags...

We are on day four (and counting) of being homeless, after our main sewer line collapsed on Friday night and left us without indoor plumbing--a luxury to many, in parts of the world, but a necessity for me and my family--and a basement full of sewage.

Henry and I are at the house waiting for various plumbers and other expensive tradesman. I'm still trying to potty train Henry, so we've made many covert trips to local establishments to use the bathroom, while trying NOT to wish this money pit of a house would burn to the ground.

I hope the universe doesn't read my blog.

Toilette

You've seen the exterior, the laundry room and the living room.  Let's continue the tour with the bathrooms.

In my mind, after the kitchen, the number and condition of the bathrooms was most important when we were looking at houses.

My house has three of them and I think they are all lovely.

Master bath, Master Henry's bath and the powder room

In fact, the master bath is so lovely that it overshadows the terrible view from the staircase.

View of the hideously ugly apartment building

Hot and Steamy

No Nigh Night Till Brooklyn

For probably the first time ever, I unpacked my suitcase within hours of arriving home, just so I could get my dirty laundry and try out my new washing machine.  Thankfully, the appliances did fit down the stairs, so no walls were destroyed and sanity was retained.

Henry and Nick had a splendid weekend without me and I certainly had a good time in the city without them.  The old house felt a little more like home after being away for four days and I'm fully rejuvenated and motivated to unpack, organize, repair and clean.

In other news, the neighbors from across the street came over last night, along with their little boy, to introduce themselves and bring us a loaf of homemade bread. As I thanked them, Henry hid behind my leg and then ran inside only to return with an armful of toys, which I assume was to entice his new friend to stay and play. 

It's too bad that when the doorbell rang I was wearing my bathrobe (it was 6 pm) and that Henry wasn't wearing pants and that I had a porch full of shrink-wrapped furniture that doesn't belong there. I felt so awkward and I think our new friends couldn't get away fast enough.

This Old House

It's only been a few days since I last posted, but I feel as though I've aged 300 years.  Even though I was happy to move, it did not happen without tears.  I have a porch full of furniture that won't fit up or down the stairs and a shower that drains through my kitchen ceiling.  Both of these things caused mini spaz attacks on my part.

Plus, I don't remember where I packed my underthings or my make-up or anything really. Does anyone know where the baby is?

Purple walls

Problems aside, I love our new 105 year-old house and feel proud to be the owner, but if my new washer and dryer don't fit down the basement stairs, I will take an ax to the wall. 

Offline

Goodbye apartment.  You were good to us, but I won't miss you or your hideous hallways.

I'll be back next week to update you on the Doodlebops concert, life in a house and three-word sentences.

Doodlebops

Dirt Poor

All my friends claimed that they didn't want me to leave, but I had so much help packing in Brooklyn that maybe I should have thought otherwise.  For this move, Nick and I seem to be in some type of packing denial.  The movers are coming very soon and I've not yet picked up the boxes. We took possession of our new house on Friday and we spent the weekend purchasing appliances and a whole bunch of other boring things that are necessary for home life.

You want to know something?  It's really, really hard to spend money on things like dirt.  The dirt is needed to change the grade around the house, so water doesn't seep into the basement. Good times.

I tell you what will truly be a good time from now on --laundry. 

LG TROMM washer / steamer
Available @ Home Depot.Com

Dance With The One You Came With

We move into our new house in three weeks. 

Last night over cheap wine and even cheaper oysters we got the call from our Realtor saying that our counter counter counter counteroffer was accepted and the place was ours.

I've not bragged about this house yet, because it feels a bit like taking your chubby friend to the prom after the really pretty girl turns you down.  Of course, you'll end up having a great time and if the light is just right, probably fall in love and be happy, but you still kind of wish the really pretty girl had said yes.

Honestly, I'm thrilled and can't wait until move-in day. We have a million things to accomplish in the next couple of weeks and I should probably rename this blog to Blah Blah Housecakes, because I'm going to be asking questions like this:

Which color should I paint the dining room, since I'm not a fan of burnt orange?

And what kind of trees or bushes should I plant around the house to add some curb appeal?

She has a great personality.

I plan on watching Home and Garden television all day, because I don't know anything about anything when it comes to homes and/or gardens.   I have a lot to learn.

ETA: There is a show on H&G called Curb Appeal!!  I've added to my TIVO.